Thursday, March 12, 2009

BUT I WANT TO GO....& "PHAV PHOTO PHRIDAY!"

TO PARTICIPATE IN CARRIE'S MY "PHAV'RITE PHOTO', THIS IS MY PHAV SO FAR THIS MONTH...IT WAS TAKEN AT THE AIRPORT WITH MY CELLPHONE (apologies for the blurriness but my camera's battery died right at the moment i needed it--well of course it did...i sound like Kate!)
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I'VE NEVER PUT MY DD ON AN AIRPLANE WITHOUT ME...THAT IS--UNTIL RECENTLY. (I was being pushed out of my comfort zone...yet again!)

YES, THERE WERE ADULTS CHAPERONING...(but they were not ME. I wanted to go and be THERE--I cried out in my heart and he answered..."Teach her to be on her own little by little; with other supervision, not your supervision").

THERE WOULD BE LOTS OF FUN (AND SINGING) ON THEIR TIMELINE IN THE "CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS"...(which really wasn't a concern b/c she's a big sleeper and very demonstrative about being quiet so she can sleep).

MY MOM'S LIST EARLIER IN THE WEEK HAD BEEN CLICKING ON AND OFF IN MY HEAD AS I CHECKED AND RE-CHECKED HER "TAKING" LIST. THE NIGHT BEFORE SHE LEFT I FILLED THE AIR WITH MY " WELL, WHAT IF..., AND WHAT IF, AND ...OK, HOW ABOUT..." THOSE PHRASES ROLLED OFF MY TONGUE (b/c my tongue could run, as J. K. Rowling said, "could run faster than SEVERUS SNAPE confronted with shampoo!") "MOM, I'VE GOT EVERYTHING I NEED...I THINK." (it's the "I THINK" whirling around in my head once she was gone that bothered me...I prayed she hadn't left something important.)

YES, NOT BEING ONE OF THE CHAPERONES MADE LETTING GO HARDER FOR ME (not her though, she loved claiming independence without my being by her side...He whispered, "Yes, little by little, that was good". Immediately I had moaned, "But I want to be theeeeeerrrre, with her". [could you see me trying to stomp my foot as I swayed from side to side?]).

DD WAS SO DUTIFUL AND CARING...SHE TEXTED A MESSAGE ONCE LANDED AT LAGUARDIA...(and I hadn't even reminded her to do so! : ) : ) which was a 2-smiler for me!] )

HIS SCRIPTURES, THOSE GOD-BREATHED, WONDERFULLY HOLY SCRIPTURES SAVED ME AGAIN...COVERED ME, PROTECTED ME WHEN I WAS IN "THAT PLACE" OF "NOT KNOWING" HOW THINGS EXACTLY WOULD BE GOING. NOT KNOWING MINUTE-BY-MINUTE WHERE SHE WAS AND WHAT SHE WAS DOING (His Word washed new breath and understanding over me with his promise).

HIS PROMISE STILL STANDS...HE TRAVELED WITH HER--HIS PREVENIENCE HAD ALREADY RUN BEFORE HER. IT GOES BEFORE EACH WHO BELIEVES ON HIM.
HE ANSWERED WHEN I CALLED, SHOWING UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS IN MY LIFE (I got wonderful joy seeing the look on her face as she eagerly repeated "I'm really going to New York!", while clapping her hands and bouncing up and down in the uncomfortable chair of the airport atrium. Her excitement and expectancy of a great trip and new sights were contagious and made me giggle with her...but, I wasn't as cute bouncing up and down in my chair! I know, sorry for the visual)

LIKE I MENTIONED EARLIER, THIS WAS ANOTHER COMFORT ZONE "STRETCHED". ONE STRETCHED LIKE A SWIMMING CAP (a little uncomfortable in the beginning but serving a purpose... as He provided for and protected me). LITTLE BY LITTLE, HER WORLD OF UNDERSTANDING WAS STRETCHED AND EXPANDED DURING THE TRIP(maybe a little uncomfortable for her at the beginning but serving a purpose as He protected her along the way).



GRADUALLY I'LL CONTINUE TO BECOME MORE OPEN TO THE REALITY OF HER ADULTHOOD; HER WORLD AWAY FROM US ONE DAY. HIS PROMISE FROM ISAIAH IS AS REAL FOR ME AS IT WAS FOR THE ISRAELITES 2000 YEARS AGO. I STAND ON HIS PROMISE...IT IS FOR HER, TOO...AND FOR THE TWINKLES (who are not even in her eyes yet).

WHEN HAVE YOU HAD TO RELEASE SOMETHING
WHILE STRUGGLING WITH LETTING IT GO?

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.




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8 comments:

Greg C said...

Those feelings are rapidly approaching for me too. The other day my son drove the truck for the first time by himself. Let me explain. He has been driving for a while but the truck has a manual transmission. I was scared to death that he would stall somewhere and not be able to get going again. I do remember going through the same thing when I first learned to drive a manual transmission.

Sassy Granny ... said...

My children are all in their late 30s now, and sometimes I STILL have to let them go. I will never forgot their dating days, and driving days, and their getting married days, and their new parent days ...

~~tonya~~ said...

Mine are 20, 15 and 10. So 3 different phases of "independentness" (is that a word? LOL). You gave some great advice. TFS

Teri said...

I'm having a really hard time with the little by little letting go of my 15 year old daughter. Argh. Thanks for sharing.

Found you on Candid Carrie.

Jo-Jo said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I enjoyed having you and enjoyed your blog as well!

Kim said...

I am honored to be your jubisista! We may not know each other in "real life" yet but maybe some day :-) And if not here, then in heaven for sure!

I can totally relate to letting your little girl go. The first time I put mine on a plane by herself she was only 12 and I was a nervous wreck! We paid extra for the airline "assistance" since she had to change planes in NYC (well, actually New Jersey) and I was so glad we did after her flight was delayed, delayed again, and finally cancelled altogether. She ended up spending 12 hours in the airport before they put her on another flight! But always with someone from the airline supervising. She had a blast, needless to say :-) She and her daddy love airports and people watching! We had a small business back then with an 800 number and I was practically glued to the phone that day as I had her call me every hour on the hour with updates :-)

I was a lot more relaxed by the time she hit 18 and flew to Africa by herself. Didn't hear from her until she arrived in Uganda and had such peace that whole time. Which is NOT my usual M.O. with either of my kids. I think God knew He just needed to calm my spirit before I even got worked up.

newlyweds said...

I bet that was hard, but I am sure she is having a great time. And like you said little by little.

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

The thing is you already know all my stuff, so I'll just say: "Well said my friend!" and I'll let you know how I feel when my DD goes off to her first solo mission trip.....

R